Book: "Emotional Intelligence".
As human beings we possess both rational and emotional minds. The rational mind is related to our capacity to emit thoughts in a logical and analytical way, it is a process of which we are completely conscious; in contrast we have our emotional mind in charge of feelings and impulses. Our emotions have been a legacy left to us by our ancestors through thousands of years of evolution, our most primitive ancestors only possessed reptilian brain and limbic brain, later the neocortex would develop which is responsible for our rational part. This explains why there is such a close relationship between our thoughts and our feelings, which when operating in harmony help us make better decisions and have more assertive behaviors. However, due to this close relationship between our rational and emotional parts, sometimes what is called neuronal hijacking occurs, where our limbic brain in charge of our emotions is able to control our rationality; that is why sometimes driven only by our emotions we have completely irrational behaviors, such as yelling, insulting and even hitting someone in a moment of anger. That is why controlling our emotions is a fundamental and determining factor to have satisfactory results in many aspects of our life. This new perspective shows us that our IQ is not the only key factor that determines future success, as emotional intelligence can be even more important. And having emotional intelligence encompasses five fundamental pillars:
- Understanding our emotions.
The first of these is understanding our own emotions, recognizing our feelings, being aware of our state of mind and knowing what is triggering it. - Managing our emotions
The second is to manage our emotions, that is, to know how to control and have assertive behaviors when an emotion emerges. - Motivation: persistence + avoidance of immediate gratification
This is one of the most important and has to do with the ability to be motivated and persist despite not getting the desired results. It is also related to the ability to avoid immediate gratification. - Empathy
It is the ability to recognize the emotions of others. - Managing your relationships with others
¿What are the most important emotions that we must learn to control? They can negatively affect our lives:
Anger: the problem with this emotion is that if we do not control it, it will increase progressively, which is why sometimes we see how two people start with an apparently calm discussion and then even come to blows. So when you are angry, it is best to seek distractions (take a walk, watch a movie, read ...), it is best to try as far as possible not to think about the situation that made you angry, because the more you think about it the more reasons you will find to stay angry.
Anxiety: as human beings we are experts in visualizing the worst possible scenarios, we even worry about things that will never happen. That is why the best thing to do in this case is always to ask yourself what is the worst that can happen; surely with this you will discover that the consequences in most cases are not as catastrophic as you think.
Depression: to avoid this you can seek to distract yourself with other people, exercise or help others through community service.
Controlling negative emotions is important because they can have direct repercussions on our health. It is said that people who suffer from anxiety are twice as likely to get a disease; on the other hand, anger seems to be the emotion that hurts our heart the most; this does not mean that you have to suppress it at all times; it is normal to have an upset from time to time, but the most important thing is to be careful that this behavior does not become recurrent.
We have 2 types of minds: a rational one and an emotional one, which is inherited from our ancestors and it was from it that the neocortex was developed, which is responsible for our logical and analytical thinking. This explains why there is such a strong relationship between our thoughts and our emotions. In most occasions both our reason and our emotion operate harmoniously which allows us to make better decisions and have assertive behaviors, however, sometimes our emotional brain takes control of our reason, which leads us to do things or make decisions that we later regret.
Therefore it is considered important to have emotional intelligence, for which it is necessary to take into account the following: first to know our emotions, second to manage them, third to have motivation especially at times when things are not going as we wish, fourth to learn to recognize the emotions in others and finally to learn to manage our relationships. It is also important to keep in mind that the negative emotions that we must control the most are: anger, anxiety and depression, since they have direct repercussions in our relationships, in our health and in the results we obtain.
What are the most important emotions that we must learn to CULTIVATE?
Those that help us to have high expectations about our results are:
In health optimism can also play a very important role.In a study of 122 men who had suffered a heart attack, the 25 most optimistic and the 25 most pessimistic were taken. 8 years later it was determined that 21 of the most pessimistic had died, while the most optimistic had only 6.As we can see, understanding our emotions and controlling our impulse allows us to improve many aspects of our life.
Emotional intelligence also helps us to have empathy with other people, to listen to their points of view; in the long run it gives us the possibility to have better relationships. In business this aspect is very important, imagine for a moment a boss whose temperament is so intimidating that other people are afraid to make a suggestion to him; this would affect the ability to communicate. This can bring catastrophic results, as it happened with an airplane pilot who had such a strong temperament that his co-pilot did not let him know he was making mistakes to avoid confrontation and as a result the plane ended up in an accident where 10 people died, this is an example where we can see that it is always best to have the ability to see other points of view, not to get irritated if you are not open to accept criticism, and if you are the one who needs to launch a criticism, try to be specific and offer an effective solution. Remember that today a leader is not one who dominates, but one who pursues common goals. Not managing our emotions properly can mean escalating conflicts that could have been resolved through dialogue.
Also people who are not aware of their emotions are more likely to use alcohol or drugs to change their emotional state, but this will never be an effective solution, what it will do is create dependency. Lack of emotional intelligence is also responsible for many violent acts that under other circumstances would have been prevented.
To sum up:
I have also been in the place you are now. When I started my dream of setting up my own Medical Clinic and was the CEO, I didn't know how to fulfill my responsibilities at work and still be present at home with my family. However, after making changes in my productivity, goal setting and leadership, I was able to take my company forward through an economic recession the country was in and achieve positive results; all while being home in time to have dinner with my family every night.
I now teach the same principles that helped my leadership, along with my team, here at CIME Academy.
If you want to know more about our training proposal in aesthetic medicine, we encourage you to contact us. We will solve your doubts and advise you on what you need.
Dr. Manuel Rubio Sanchez
aesthetic doctor
