Book: "Your Wrong Zones".
When negative thoughts such as guilt, worry and anxiety arise in your mind, they end up clouding your vision, for by experiencing them your path begins to be guided by these negative inner forces that lead you to commit wrong actions. Soon after you realize that those actions bring you painful consequences, and that suffering continues to feed your thoughts and the cycle repeats itself.
In this book the author tells us how to identify the wrong areas that are affecting our lives and how to integrate new and better ways to face our challenges, and will allow us to observe the patterns that are repeating over and over again without realizing it, in order to modify them and achieve greater well-being. As you begin to question those negative thoughts and reconfigure the structure of your being, you will realize that you will not only improve your relationship with other people but you will also have access to a better relationship with yourself.
It all starts with the desire to make a change in your life and want to continue growing, for this the most salient points of the book are:
- Start by taking charge of yourself
You have the gigantic potential to do important and meaningful things, however, you have to realize that growth depends only on you. Books and mentors can only accompany you on this path, but you have to take responsibility for walking it. We have two very clear options:
Choose the path of comfort and continue to fall into the wrong areas all your life.
Want to make a conscious change, challenge our negative thoughts and modify patterns to fulfill our potential.
It is up to us which choice to make. We have to be honest with ourselves and commit to our decision.
- Nurture your self-love:
There is an image that emerges of ourselves regardless of what others say, and we are the ones who are valuing that image. Be careful with the way you treat yourself, you have to start eliminating every element that makes you a victim, fully accept who you are and start cultivating a deep love for that image. The value of your life is linked neither to your appearance, nor to your intelligence, nor to your behavior, nor to your riches, nor to your feelings, nor to your achievements; but it is simply linked to the fact that you are here, you exist, you are alive and you are part of this universe. Accept this reality and begin to pour your love into this image of yourself.
- Stop looking for the approval of others:
By developing the previous two points we will realize that we are the owners of our decisions, therefore, it is of utmost importance that we stop feeding the desire to please others, since seeking external approval can limit our dreams and paralyze our life. If our self-esteem is linked to our own valuation, we will not need others to tell us how much we are worth. Personal development requires that we make decisions based on love and growth rather than reaction to our environment out of fear and social pressure.
- Say goodbye to the past:
Be very careful about putting labels on ourselves that limit our growth, if for example we say "this is who I am and I will never change", "it's always the same and there's nothing I can do" or "it's the way I act and I can't change". However normal these ideas may seem, they are incredibly dangerous for our personal development. Maybe someone we admired criticized us in the past and we adopted a label that we have clung to all our lives; this is how limiting beliefs are born that prevent us from making the changes we need to fulfill our potential. Instead of justifying ourselves with past labels, let's realize that now in the present we can decide to change the way we act. When we are faced with a limiting belief that we want to eliminate, let us remember this thought "I choose to change and be this way", let us remember that we are the product of our decision.
- Identify the two most dangerous and useless emotions:
Guilt, can be a positive emotion if we allow it to guide us to realize that we hurt someone and with that understanding we can do something to repair the situation, however, there is a corrupting guilt that punishes us for many years, even if we feel guilt for something past we probably no longer have the control to change it. Let's learn to forgive ourselves if necessary and not allow that guilt to ruin our life.- Worry, this toxic emotion that can very quickly get out of control, is a mechanism that triggers hallucinations and negative fantasies of the future, which only distract you from what you have to do right now. Do not allow your mind to be carried away by negative thoughts that do not contribute anything, instead train it to be able to create action plans in a focused way that allow us to act in the best way. Let's not seek to be distracted by worries.
- Explore the unknown:
Growth is a need that all human beings have, whether we want to acknowledge it or not it causes us excitement to venture into the adventure of life. This growth can only happen by experiencing novelty and the main enemy of this is the fear of failure. Our comfort zone keeps us anchored to what we already know, to what is safe, however, people who remain stuck in a comfortable life cannot grow. Our limiting beliefs are the walls that are not allowing us to move, let's find the courage to get out of our comfort zone and enter new areas. At this point we will probably experience insecurity, anxiety or fear of the opinion of others, but we will also recognize that it is at this point where we are growing, feeling alive and developing our whole being.
- Break through the barriers of convention:
The culture and society we grew up in has been inculcating in us a "you must be this way". Tradition has many benefits, however it is important that we develop a critical mind. Let us not get carried away by the cultural tide, instead let us question: why do we do what we do, what are the most important values in our life, what is the purpose of this moment? These questions will make us seem out of the ordinary, because people commonly do not ask these questions; however on this path of growth it is of utmost importance that we question what we do and not continue to blindly conform to what society is imposing on us.
- Beware of the fairness trap:
As we observe the world it may be that it awakens in us many negative emotions caused by injustice. We must be very attentive because otherwise nothing we can do about it will only start to feed our resentment and go against the world and this will end up leaving you without energy and with a deep pain that cannot heal. Being hungry for justice is not something that is bad, but it does pollute our mind with over-information on social media and television. You can get to three wrong points:
Is that in the face of such helplessness there is only anger and frustration with yourself for not having the ability to do something about it.
We can become blindly obsessed with applying our justice no matter who we have to hurt in order to impose it.
You may even forget about justice altogether and justify yourself for not doing anything about it.
Ideally, you can live a just life within the space that is available to us, that is, try to live in the most just way in our work, in our relationships and in our community.
- Stop procrastinating:
This means that we put off important activities that we need to do and replace them with pleasurable activities that momentarily distract us. Procrastination is the result of different experiences that we are seeking to avoid among them: confrontation, discomfort or, very often, fear of failure; however, if we want to achieve our dreams we have to start exercising discipline and act in spite of experiencing these sensations. For this there are three steps we can follow:
Make a list of the most important activities you have to do and mark them in a calendar.
Stay away from all distractions and don't let your mind lead you to avoid your commitment.
Count 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, go! When you finish the countdown start acting immediately, remember that the beginning of any activity is the most complicated, but once you start your desire to procrastinate already diminished.
Proclaim your independence:
This means that you accept the freedom to be who you decide to be. There is a huge problem in our society: emotional dependency in our relationships. If we are in a situation where love is forced it creates a rigidity that eventually becomes an obligation. Forced love cannot work in the long run, this type of love only creates resentment, pain and in the end rebellion, which ends up corrupting the whole relationship; instead, we have to look for our relationships to be fueled by a free love, which is based on the decision of wanting to love without any conditions, a love that is patient and does not need anything in return. Seek to build interdependent relationships between independent individuals who want to enter into true unions.
Say goodbye to anger:
Anger has the power to completely destroy our relationships and leave us isolated from the people we love most. When we experience something that triggers our anger remember that fundamentally we have the ability to choose how to act, do not allow the emotion to take possession of our being, let that anger pass, observe it but do not allow it to control your actions. Little by little we will realize that anger is decreasing, when we make it conscious we realize that in principle this emotion is used to manipulate, to make us feel guilty and in general to protect our pride. Once we realize that living without unleashing our anger will allow us more emotional stability and less frustration, we will recover that energy that was previously wasted and use it to continue growing personally.
If you want to know more about our training proposal in aesthetic medicine, we encourage you to contact us. We will solve your doubts and advise you on what you need.
Dr. Manuel Rubio Sanchez
aesthetic doctor
